The Curse of the Verse

Last night, my college alma mater, and favorite sports team, took the field in New Orleans for The (whoever is sponsoring) Sugar Bowl against the University of Cincinnati. If you've been anywhere other than in a cave today, you probably know that under the steadfast leadership of quarterback Tim Tebow, the Gators took a rather sizable bite out of the Bearcats and finished the season in relative glory. GO GATORS!

Now, I say relative glory, because (I'm going out on a limb here) I'm guessing the Sugar Bowl is not what Urban Meyer, Tim Tebow, and the rest of the Gator Nation had in mind as the bowl game of choice one month ago. The first of December brought dreams of back-to-back National Championships, not merely a Consolation Bowl win. So what happened?

Well...I have a theory.

As anyone who watches any college football has undoubtedly heard (ad nauseum), Tim Tebow is a 'man of deep faith.' He not only wears his religious faith on his sleeve, he wears it on his face, in the form of select Bible verses written in his eye black. Of course, Tebow's not the first or only one to do this, but he seems to be the one garnering the most media attention for it lately. My theory, then, is simply this:  For 26 straight games, Tim Tebow had been selecting Bible verses that God could really get behind, thereby making Florida his 'chosen' team. For some reason, on the afternoon of December 5, 2009, God obviously decided that Hebrews 12:1-2 just didn't do it for him, and he switched his allegiance to Alabama. Last night's choice of verses, Ephesians 2:8-10, on the other hand, must've been just what the Heavenly Father was looking for, and so he once again graced Florida with a big win.

See...it's so simple. Tim merely dropped the ball when it came to how he honored his deity. Naturally, it had nothing to do with the fact that (Tebow excepted) the Florida team played a lackluster game against a very good Alabama team, and for their lack of effort/focus/whatever, earned themselves a big, fat L and the chance to play for 3rd place in the Sugar Bowl. Just as obvious is the fact that last night's verse had everything to do with the Gators' 51-24 win against a team that never offered much of a challenge, except to the 2nd/3rd string substitutes playing in the second half.

So...let this be a valuable lesson to all current and future athletes: No matter how talented you, your coaches, and your teammates are, no matter how much time, effort, and heart you put into perfecting your game, and no matter how well your team plays as a unit, you must honor the big G with the right Bible verse. Without it, you just don't have a snowball's chance in Hell!!

Quote of the Day:


"But we, wretched unbelievers, we bear our own burdens; we must say, 'I myself did it, I.' Not God, not Satan; I myself!"


--Olive Shreiner