Comparative Religion: Beyond the Big 3...or 4...or 5

Lately there's been a whole lot of talk about Brit Hume's suggestion that Tiger Woods renounce his Buddhist faith and embrace Christianity. As last night's post showed, even The Daily Show got to weigh in on the ensuing controversy.

One thing that struck me as unfair and unbalanced regarding this situation was the fact that of all the world religions out there, nobody suggested he pursue anything beyond the 'big 3' (or 4, or 5--if you want to include Hinduism and Buddhism).

I think most of us are fairly aware of what each of the most common religions have to offer. But what about the 'other' major religions? Tonight I'd like to offer a brief exercise in comparative religion...beyond the 'big 3', in the hopes of providing poor Tiger a couple more alternatives to the same ol' same old.

Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorn [May her holy hooves never be shod.]



Like most religions, the faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorn rests on several tenets:

1. Our Lady Unicorn is Pink and Invisible.

2. She prefers Pineapple and Ham Pizza to Pepperoni and Mushroom. The latter is said to be eaten only by followers of the despicable Purple Oyster (of Doom).


3. The Followers of the IPU have more Holy Days than those of all other faiths put together, as any Holy Day of any faith is automatically an IPU Holy Day. Holy Days are used by the Faithful to sow seeds of doubt and uncertainty in the minds of addicts of other religions. The Holiest Day of the Year is April 1st. It is the day on which She suggests we find a religious nut and say "There is as much evidence for the existence of your god/gods as there is for the Invisible Pink Unicorn, why don't you check out her web-site, maybe you'll learn something?"


4. A significant number to followers of the IPU is 42. It is the answer to the question, "What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?" Importantly, if you add together the digits of the year in which she was revealed, (1+9+9+4) you get 23. If you add 4 (for Her hooves), add 2 (Her ears) add 2 (Her eyes) add 1 (Her Horn), add 1 (Her tail) then add 9 the result is also 42. This proves the significance of Two Score and Two.


5. Certain chosen followers of the IPU are blessed with visitations, shown with signs in their laundry (i.e., raptured socks). See the Revelation of The Lost Prophetess of AOL for more details.


Steve Eley, self-annointed 'Chief Advocate and Spokesguy' for the Invisible Pink Unicorn [Peace be unto her.],  makes the following claim in defense of his faith:

"Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorn is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can't see them."

*Information about the IPU respectfully borrowed from Invisible Pink Unicorn Web and used for educational purposes only. For more information, visit Her website at http://filer.case.edu/bct4/ 

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (aka Pastafarianism)  

     
According to Pastafarian Prophet, Bobby Henderson, the basic tenets of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster were revealed to him in 2005, as a response to the Kansas State Board of Education's decision to include Intelligent Design as part of it's science curriculum. They include the following:

1. The universe was created by an all-knowing, divine, undetectable mass of spaghetti and meatballs called the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM).

2.  All evidence pointing toward evolution was deliberately planted on Earth by the FSM.

3. Pirates are the original Pastafarians. To honor them, Church members wear full pirate regalia.

4. Every Friday is the holiest of holy days, which include Ramendan, Pastaover, and Holiday.

An exerpt from the open letter to the Kansas State Board of Education written by the  Pastafarian Prophet further illuminates the focus of the Church's faith.

"I am concerned...that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design....If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but is another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith....Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His (FSM's) chosen outfit...full pirate regalia....I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms."

It is my hope that by providing a glimpse into a couple of the other major religions out there, Tiger will know that he is not limited in his choice of prophet-driven cults based on undetectable, invisible deities. I wish him the best of luck as he decides!!