Saturday, March 6, 2010

Just One More Example of the Wisdom of Our Founding Fathers

Despite the Religious Wrong's hijacking of America's Founding Fathers for their own narrow purposes, (i.e., the indignant claim that the U.S. was founded on the basis of Judeo-Christian values, and therefore all law should be based on Scripture), the writings of many of these learned men and great thinkers speak rather frankly about their true intentions regarding religion's role in government--both in terms of its founding and functioning. I have provided the following few examples before, but I think they bear reiterating, given the kinds of crazy-ass public appeals some elected officials (and many a pundit on Fox and elsewhere) are making with regard to important Federal legislation.

"The United States of America is in no sense founded on the Christian religion."
--John Adams, Treaty of Tripoli (1797)


"In every country and in every age the priest has been hostile to liberty, he is always in allegiance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection of his own... History I believe furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government... Political as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves [of public ignorance] for their own purpose."


"State churches that use government power to support themselves and force their views on persons of other faiths undermine all our civil rights...  Erecting the 'wall of separation between church and state,' therefore, is absolutely essential in a free society."
--Thomas Jefferson

The Daily Show has done many segments in the past regarding the inappropriateness of religion in government. I personally find satire one of the absolute best ways to illuminate just how dangerous it is for all of us when religion crosses into the realm of government. Here is the latest regarding health care reform.


Tuesday, March 2, 2010

You Just Can't Compete Against Jesus

This past weekend, my school district held their Golden Apple Teacher of the Year awards banquet. Amazingly, 2 of the 5 finalists were teachers with whom I work. One in particular is a young man who teaches the Emotionally/Behaviorally Disordered middle schoolers in a self-contained class. He is very devoted to his kids and is a really great teacher.

Well, unfortunately (in my biased opinion), this particular teacher didn't win. The guy who won is a music teacher who claimed that he never wanted to even go into teaching until Jesus "opened his eyes" and showed him "the way." Now, whether he is a more exceptional teacher than my colleague I leave to the judgment of the panel who evaluated each finalist, but as another colleague pointed out to me on Monday morning, "You just can't compete against Jesus."



Quote of the Day:

"Bribes, believe me, buy both gods and men."

--Ovid

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Atheist Humor--Part 3: Signs of the Times


And my personal favorite.....

Religious Views of Life

Taoism
Shit happens.

Confucianism
Confucius says shit happens.

Buddhism
If shit happens, it isn't really shit.

Zen
What is the sound of shit happening?

Hinduism
This shit happened before.

Hare Krishna
Shit happens, rama lama ding-dong.

Islam
If shit happens, take a hostage.

Jehovah's Witnesses
Knock, knock....shit happens.

Catholicism
If shit happens, you deserve it.

Protestantism
Let shit happen to someone else.

Judaism
Why does this shit always happen to us?

Rastafarianism
Let's smoke this shit!!

Agnosticism
What is this shit?

Atheism
I don't believe this shit.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

The Seven Universal Laws

On my last trip to New York, we took a train to Times Square. As we were walking through the station towards 42nd Street, a group of 4 young men (Hasidic Jews) approached us and asked if we were Jewish. When I said no, one of the young men handed me a card and told me that on the card I would find the seven universal laws, and if I would just follow them, they would lead to true peace. Believing that now is as good a time as any to get started down the path of true peace, I decided to check them out and share what I discovered. "The Seven Universal Laws" are as follows:

Believe in G-d and renounce idolatry. (Wow...Simon Cowell is so screwed!)

Honor the Almighty by not blaspheming. (Well, how in the hell do you expect a godless heathen to follow a goddamn rule like that?!?)

Respect all human life and not commit murder. (Hmmmm....It might be tough, but I'll try.)

Refrain from immoral conduct; adultery, incest and homosexuality. (Adultery? Check. Incest? Um...like 1 million times check! Homosexuality? Check for me, but that "law" might be a bit difficult for whole sections of NYC. And why is "immoral" behavior confined to sexual behavior? I guess Yahweh must have a one-track mind.)

Respect the property of others by not stealing. (That's a given.)

Respect G-d's creatures and not partake of flesh from a living animal. (Well, duh...living animals squirm too much.)

Foster justice by supporting honest courts of law. (As opposed to the courts of law we have now??  i.e., corporations = individuals = freedom of speech = the right to spend billions to ensure that laws remain entirely corporate-friendly)


Alright...so those are the Seven Universal Laws. Please bear with me as I submit these "laws" to my own unofficial test of universality.

  • Believe in G-d and renounce idolatry.
    • FAIL! This law is only universal if one assumes that everyone who is not Jewish has a belief in some sort of deity and engages in idolatry. It completely leaves out the pantheists, agnostics, and atheists of the world.
  • Honor the Almighty by not blaspheming.
    • FAIL! What is blaspheming to one religious group is honoring by another...and those who don't believe in the existence of any "Almighty" blaspheme them all.
  • Respect all human life and do not commit murder.
    • PASS! First of all, not committing murder is rooted more in ethology than "law", but makes complete sense when you consider that wiping out the human species via murder would not be in the best interest of the human species. It is also my humble opinion that respecting all human life is another universal precept that transcends religion or religious belief...however, it is one that does not seem to EVER be followed by believers of any faith, as they continue to show disrespect to anyone who does not believe as they do, and even go so far as to commit that very act of murder, which is universally condemned.
  • Refrain from immoral conduct: adultery, incest, homosexuality.
    • FAIL! First of all, adultery is defined differently between different cultures, and even within the same religious groups. At one time, having multiple wives and/or conjugal relations with your slaves (for men only, of course) was not considered "adulterous" behavior within Judaism. As cultural norms changed, so too, did the definition of adultery. Incest has physiological repercussions that make that taboo unattractive enough to most but not all cultures...and homosexuality is a law of nature (check out the many other species that engage in homosexual behavior) that cannot be eliminated by instituting laws of man (or god) forbidding it.
  • Respect the property of others by not stealing.
    • PASS/FAIL?  This one is tricky because it assumes a material-based system and philosophy of life. What one considers stealing, another may simply see as taking one's turn using available resources. In that case, I suppose the intent to not maliciously take the property of others could be considered universal. Of course, if one were to exist in a cooperative state, this law becomes moot.
  • Respect G-d's creatures and not partake of the flesh of a living animal.
    • FAIL! Ok, while I am philosophically sympathetic to the viewpoint of those who are vegetarian or vegan, as far as grotesque human production of meat products is concerned, science does not support the argument that humans were meant to (and should) refrain from consuming meat products. One obvious example in favor of a more omnivore lifestyle includes the existence of "canine teeth" in humans, which like the four-legged animals whose teeth they resemble, were never intended to be used to eat tofu. Having said that, my personal belief is that there is a significant problem with mass-producing animal products and I think if people worldwide could manage to curb their consumption of meat by even 10% per year, perhaps we could get a little bit closer to the ideal of respecting our fellow creatures.
  • Foster justice by supporting honest courts of law.
    • PASS! In theory, it's difficult to imagine how anyone could argue against honesty and justice for those who seek it, even in the most localized or tribal courts.

Well, by my count, that makes just 2.5 out of the 7 laws that met my unscientific criteria for universality, and all of those were related to concepts that promote social cohesion and universal prosperity, thus eliminating any need to identify with Judaism, or any other religious belief system.

With regard to promoting "true peace", again, only 2.5 out of 7 stand a chance of accomplishing this. The others remain "true" only in the eyes of the believers themselves and if they accomplish true peace for them, I am all in favor, as long as it is not at the expense of others, like myself.

As for the 4 young men freezing their beards off in the 42nd Street subway station while attempting to hand cards out to tourists who mostly ignored them, I hope they find their own sense of peace....but more importantly, I hope they find a warm place to be when their mission is over.

Quote of the Day:

"If a man would follow, today, the teachings of the Old Testament, he would be a criminal. If he would follow strictly the teachings of the New, he would be insane."

--Robert G. Ingersoll

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Unexpected Inconsiderations

Today I encountered one of those situations in which it was very uncomfortable to be a godless heathen.

It happened when I went out to lunch with several of my colleagues from work. While we were waiting for our meals to arrive, one of the very lovely ladies I was with suggested (nay, demanded) we bow our heads and say a blessing. Now, where I live, it is not uncommon to see people holding hands and praying in public restaurants. Therefore, this is not something I am unaccustomed to witnessing.
However, what got my panties in a bunch was the fact that everyone at the table just assumed that it would be alright with everyone else at the table. Never once did anyone appear to even consider the possibility that one or more of us might not be inclined to pray to a particular god, or (horror of horrors), might be an outright atheist.

So there I sat, head bowed, eyes involuntarily rolling at the servile platitudes being offered to "the" deity supposedly responsible for providing us with our lunch (which wasn't of the healthiest variety, I might add), feeling like a complete fraud. And why? Because I felt compelled to be considerate of the others' desire to thank an imaginary, invisible sky person for providing the overly-processed food we ordered.

Yet, without realizing it, these otherwise very kind women had been incredibly inconsiderate of my desire to NOT do so, and I can't help thinking about Mr. Ben Stein's rant about how Jews and Christians don't like being "pushed around." (See blog entry from 12/29/09) Once again, it seems rather ironic to me that a member of the vast majority would be complaining of discrimination and/or inconsideration at the hands of the overwhelming minority and I wonder just how offended my colleagues would have been had I refused to participate in their ritual due to my (ir)religious beliefs. Perhaps one of them would be blogging about me tonight. ;)

Quote of the Day:

"The dull pray; the geniuses are light mockers."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson 


 

Thursday, February 18, 2010

A Godless Heathen's Weekend Travelogue of The Big Apple: Part 1

Friday morning, at approximately 10:30 a.m., my husband and I took off from Orlando, Florida, defied the laws of nature, and headed north to New York City for a long weekend vacation. It is a trip I have looked forward to for months now.

Our flight up was uneventful and we got a couple of good arial shots of the city and Statue of Liberty as we descended. It only took us 10 minutes to get off the plane and out the door to the shuttle bus, which made the process of getting to the city a breeze. 

**From one NY newbie to another--here's a 'Newbie' travel tip: Instead of taking a cab from the airport (a $30-$50 expense), consider taking the shuttle bus instead. Tickets are on sale right as you exit the terminal and only cost $5 per person to Grand Central Station, where you can either take a train wherever you need to go, or take their hotel shuttle from Grand Central. Be advised though, that the same shuttle back to La Guardia costs $12.**

After about 30 minutes on the bus, we arrived at Grand Central Terminal, which I just love! One of the things I find to be the most interesting about this city is the extreme diversity of individuals coexisting here. For example, just on the shuttle bus, there were people hailing from at least 6 different countries, just based on the languages that I could identify from people sitting around us--and I'm certainly no linguist, so there most likely were more. Take a walk through Grand Central Station and it's what I imagine walking around the United Nations must be like. It's this wonderful characteristic of New York that makes one feel less like a citizen of any particular country and more like a citizen of the world. 

From Grand Central, we hopped a shuttle train to Times Square, and then walked the 2 blocks to our hotel. (There actually is an underground passageway that we could've taken and come up topside a few hundred yards from our hotel, but we didn't discover it until our 3rd day.)

Once we'd checked in and dropped off all of our non-essential gear in the hotel room, we set off to explore the area.


 This cool ice sculpture was displayed in the middle of Times Square and people were lining up to get their pictures taken in front of it. Later that evening, the barriers were taken down and you could stand right on the hay bales up close to the sculpure. Very nice!!

We wound up meandering along Broadway, past David Letterman's studio, down 53rd, and over to Madison Avenue.

On Madison Avenue, we came upon St. Patrick's Cathedral. Despite the presence of contractor's scaffolding erected outside the church, presumably due to restoration work, this Gothic monument was stunning. Inside the cathedral was even more impressive. What follows are some of the photos I took from inside St. Patrick's.




I found it fascinating that each little alcove (and I know they have a proper name but I'm blanking on it) had a different focus for prayer...and a station where candles could be lit to help speed prayers to the desired recipient, whether it be St. Jude, Mary, or The Face of Jesus (not Jesus himself, mind you, just his face).


Even more fascinating (and chuckle-worthy) was the sign at the very back of the cathedral where 2 large stands of prayer candles stood. As beautiful as the architecture and artwork was, and as peaceful and contemplative the ambience, The Church never allows one to forget what REALLY matters.













Well, at least now I know how The Church could afford to build such marvelous edifices. :)


From St. Patrick's we strolled down Madison to 50th and over to Rockefeller Center. On our first trip to NYC, we wanted to skate but were too tired and sore from walking and promised we'd do it next time (i.e., this time). Well, this time, we didn't do it either.
**Newbie travel tip: Rockefeller Center charges nearly $30 for the privilege to skate for a limited time on very crowded, very small ice. We found out later that for around $10, one can skate at one of the less prestigious rinks in Central Park.**

Later that evening, we tried to get tickets to see Phantom of the Opera, but we got there late, and as they only had single seats available, we opted instead to see another little musical called "The Fantasticks." We had never heard of this show, but apparently it is the longest continuous running production in American theater, and a bit of a Broadway staple. The theater was tiny, seating only about 200 people, and the showing we attended only had about half that many in the audience. All in all, it was a well-done, intimate, reasonably priced and enjoyable show. Interestingly, the young adolescents in the audience seemed especially to appreciate it, judging by the outbursts of uninhibited laughter during many of the comedic moments--which actually added to the experience.

**Newbie travel tip: On and off-Broadway shows often have discount tickets (30-50% off box office prices) available at a kiosk in Times Square, if you don't mind waiting in line. However, if you don't have your heart set on any particular show, the lines seem to dissipate about 45-60 minutes prior to showtime and you can just walk up to the window and get tickets to whatever's available.**

...and thus, ended day one.









Tuesday, February 16, 2010

A Little Monk-y Business

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.


He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy,it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.


The head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.'


He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years...

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot...


So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.
He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing,


'We missed theR!
We missed the R!
We missed the R!'


His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, Father?'


With A choking voice, the old abbot replies,
'The word was...


CELEBRATE!!!'