Friday was an exceptionally stressful day for me at work. Not only did I have to navigate the treacherous waters of state and district public school policy and federal law, I had to do it while biting my tongue. You see, it seems there are many more degrees of separation between Kevin Bacon and me than there are between the public schools in which I work and the free exercise of religion.

This is my first time back to work in the public school system in 10 years. In the interim, I have worked in mental health, academia, and at home (homeschooling my children). In all those years, and with respect to those occupations, separation of church and state was never an issue. Not so, this year.

The first dose of culture shock came when I realized that nearly every workspace in the district compound contained some kind of poster, picture, throw pillow, or nicknack of a religious nature. Believe me when I say that I totally believe that a person has the right to display in their own personal work space anything they choose, so long as it does not violate a standard of professional common sense. I guess the sheer amount of explicit religiosity just took me by surprise. In this case, though, the problem is more mine than theirs.

Some examples of religious infringement on my right to separation of church and state incudes receiving religious-themed email on my work account, being expected to participate in group prayer at faculty/staff gatherings at school, and having to respond out of courtesy to the many incantations of "Have a blessed day." Unlike the many personal mementos I encounter in other people's offices, these things are cumulatively very annoying because they invade my personal space. On Friday, though, there were 2 incidents that I thought might finally compel me to take that dive over the edge.

The first one happened first thing in the morning, when I had to facilitate a very difficult meeting between a parent and student, staff representing the child's base school, and the representative of the alternative school to which the student was recommended for placement. Things started out quite hairy, but progress was made when the alternative school representative explained in great detail what the child's experience at her school would be like. She peppered it with lots of expressions like "praise Jesus", "God love 'em", and "our little cherubs". She constantly referred to the student as "Lovey", which I found kind of creepy, considering the student in question was a 14-year-old boy, but the parent of the child just ate it up. My pinnacle moment of discomfort came when the parent asked this woman if everyone at her school was as spiritually connected as she, and the woman answered very sincerely, "You have to be," to which everyone at the table laughed but me. I just wanted to shout, "These are public schools people! If you want spiritually connected, attend a private school!" Of course, I need my job, so I kept quiet.

The second incident occurred later in the day at another meeting. In this case, a teacher was discussing with a parent church-related work options for her daughter with special needs. Let me just say that I think the world of this teacher. She is a very fine person. However, when the conversation turned to the Christian tolerance that this young woman would receive by working for her church, I nearly choked. Where was this Christian tolerance when churches were (in the not-so-distant past) condemning individuals with special needs for being possessed by Satan, or at the very least, being some sort of punishment by God for some perceived sin by the parents? Is that the type of Christian tolerance to which my colleague referred? So...for the second time that day, I bit my tongue.

Now, in the overall scheme of things, are these offenses that big of a deal? Probably not. However, what really gets under my skin is the fact that these types of comments were taking place in the supposedly secular public schools. I don't go to other people's churches, synagogs, mosques, or homes and bring up my lack of belief in God, my lack of spiritual connectedness, or my personal opinions on Christian tolerance. It would be inappropriate. Likewise, I just feel that the same courtesy should be extended in school.

Quote of the Day:

"State churches that use government power to support themselves and force their views on persons of other faiths undermine all our civil rights....Erecting the 'wall of separation between church and state,' therefore, is absolutely essential in a free society."

--Thomas Jefferson

Interesting Definition of "Blessed"

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

--Matthew 5:4

This was one of the verses on a church sign I passed on my way home from work yesterday. I can't help wondering as I read verses like this one if any of the people who post them actually think about what message is being implied by statements such as this. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective), I can't help thinking about it.

  Are people in mourning really blessed? Would they think themselves blessed to be in the midst of an experience that finds them mourning? I could be wrong, but I can't think of a single instance in which an individual feels blessed to have lost a loved one, lost a job, lost their home, or any other scenario which might lead one to mourn. Based on my own limited experiences, it seems to me that it would be safe to say that in most cases, people in mourning are not feeling blessed.

Of course, there is an upside to all this mourning going on. "...they will be comforted." How will they be comforted? Will friends, family, and community come together to help in a time of need? Possibly. But I still fail to grasp the connection to being blessed for mourning. Sure, a person might feel blessed to have a caring network of individuals around to rely upon in dark times, but how does that make a person blessed to be in mourning? This begs the question also of why God would allow bad things to happen to people (thus creating the need to mourn) and then say that those people are blessed because somehow, some way, they will be comforted. Why doesn't God just prevent the need to mourn in the first place, because then an individual might actually BE blessed?

And what about people whose lives are working out just fine? Does this imply then, that they are not blessed, but in fact, are damned for being happy? As far as the comforters go, are they damned as well, since they are not in mourning themselves and are merely acting as facilitators of recovery from mourning for the person who is so blessed? Finally, if the ones who mourn are the ones who are blessed, why do they need comfort in the first place?

Just something to think about....

Quote of the Day:


"You cannot transmute some incoherent mixture of words into sense merely by introducing the three-letter word 'God' to be its grammatical subject."


--Antony Flew

Ockham's Razor Required to Slice 1/2 Price Beef

Yesterday was my father-in-law's birthday. As is customary in our family, we all headed over to my in-laws' house for a celebratory dinner and party. During dinner, my mother-in-law made a comment that just tickled my funny bone, and while it might not seem so funny to anyone else, I thought I'd share it anyway.

My father-in-law, Bruce, is a total steak-and-potatoes kind of guy. When we have dinner at their house for his birthday, we know the menu will be limited to some kind of steak and mashed, baked, or fried potatoes. Last night was no different. Prime rib, mashed potatoes, pasta (for the non steak-and-potato eaters), Italian bread, and fresh fruit rounded out the meal. When everyone was done and complimenting the chef (hubby's mom) on how great the meal was, the conversation turned to the beef. Apparently, the butcher who cut the meat for Bruce gave him boneless prime rib at the bone-in price; a savings of about half. Around the table, people murmured about how nice the butcher was, how it was a great birthday present for Bruce, how it made eating at home worthwhile, etc. My mother-in-law then said in all sincerity, "I guess God wanted  you to have prime rib for your birthday. He must've whispered into the butcher's ear to give you that meat for 1/2 price." 

Whatever conversation immediately followed is beyond my comprehension, because all I could hear in my head was my own sarcastic, smart-ass voice replying, "Yes, that's just what God did. He cared sooo much about Bruce's birthday that he made it a priority to follow him around all day...and then, at the opportune moment, whispered in a butcher's ear so that Bruce could get his prime rib for 1/2 price." 

Forgive me but I have to ask...Where is Ockham's razor when you need it?

Quote of the Day:

"...other things being equal...the simplest hypothesis proposed as an explanation of phenomena is more likely to be the true one than is any other available hypothesis..."

--Richard Swinburne

Atheist Humor--Part 2

Alright, here are a few more for you. :)

1)  Richard Dawkins, Barack Obama and Jesus are standing by a river, wondering how to get across. Jesus suggests they all simply walk across the surface of the water. Dawkins goes first, and to the amazement of the other two, runs lightly across the surface to the other side. Obama follows him, skipping lightly across to join him. Jesus takes two steps and falls into the water up to his neck. Dawkins grins, turns to Obama and says "Good on you for not telling him about the stepping stones."

Obama replies "What stepping stones?"
 
 
2) What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

3)  Actual church bulletin announcements:  

Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.


The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.


This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.


Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.


Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, "Put me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.


Thursday at 5:00 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.


This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.


The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.


Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.


The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.


A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.


At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.


The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy."


Today...Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course, 8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.


During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.


The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.


The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.


The `eighth graders' will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.



4) The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.






Bonus Question:


Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?




Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.


One student however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.


I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to hell.


With birth and death rates as they are we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.


Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume of Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.


This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase untill all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop untill Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms.Banyan during my freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and we take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true.

Thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student recieved the only "A" given.

Movie Review: The Invention of Lying

 The other night, my husband brought home a movie that I had never heard of before--The Invention of Lying. I was skeptical about watching it, and tired to boot, but I stoically agreed to veg on the couch and watch. I have to say that I am so glad I did. If you haven't heard of this movie before, click on the link below and watch the trailer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc79ho-PzeE


Unfortunately, the trailer leaves out the most intriguing part of the storyline for this movie. I don't want to give it away completely, so I'll just say...there is a very humanist/unbeliever-friendly message subtly (or maybe not-so-subtly) contained within the plot, which served as the cherry on top of an already sweet little comedy co-written and directed by Ricky Gervais. In other words, if you'd like to see Biblical comedy turned on its head a bit, this is a great movie to watch. I really enjoyed it and definitely recommend it.

Quote of the Day:

"No man who has ever lived knows more about the hereafter...than you and I; and all religion...is simply evolved out of chicanery, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry."

--Edgar Allan Poe

Eat Hot Lead, Haji!

This past week, Stephen Colbert did a 'report' on the so-called 'Jesus rifles' that the US military is using in the war in the Middle East. If there ever was a case to be made about the post-9/11 military engagements being anything other than a holy war for many Americans (and in particular, those supplying the weapons), I believe this segment does a pretty good job of shooting that down (pun intended). In fact, I'm fairly certain there are people who see the 'Promised Land' every time the US military writes them their check for their weapons contract. Click on the link below to see what I mean.

 http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/262174/january-19-2010/onward-christian-soldiers

Quote of the Day:

"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth; I came not to send peace, but a sword."

--Jesus Christ as cited in Matthew 10:34

The Courage of Heretics

I was at my local Barnes and Noble yesterday browsing through cookbooks, when I got the notion to search for a book I've been wanting for a long time--Christopher Hitchens' "The Portable Atheist". Incidentally, it took me a long time to find the right section in the store. While there is row after row of Christian, Muslim, Eastern, and New Age Spiritual material, in order to find anything even resembling atheist/agnostic reading, one must go to the philosophy section--which is, itself, very small (only part of one bookcase). I guess that tells you where things stand in the battle of the New Testament Prophets vs. New Enlightenment Philosophers.

Anyhoo, I did eventually find the section, and was amazed to actually find one copy of TPA on the shelf. Whoopee!!! In my hot little hands I held nearly 500 pages of literature authored by some of the world's finest minds and all I had to do was take it up to the checkout to pay....and therein lies the true beginning of my tale.

You see, before I could take my treasure to the checkout and make it legally mine, I had to make a short trip back to the cookbook section to return a book I had decided not to purchase. It was during this small detour that I began to feel a bit self-conscious about having this bright yellow book with the word 'atheist' on my person, particularly in light of the fact that many of the patrons I encountered on this Sunday afternoon (the store was quite busy) were bonafide cross-wearing, The Purpose-Driven Life purchasing believers. So, what did I do? I completely wussed out and put my copy of TPA beneath the much larger cookbook that I did intend to buy, so that it would be less conspicuous. I then began the walk of shame to the front counter.

About half way to my destination, it dawned on me what I was doing. Here I was, a self-proclaimed godless heathen, worried about buying a book containing selected readings by other doubters and unbelievers, when many of those same authors had been shunned, exiled, received death threats, had death sentences pronounced upon them, or were outright executed for their heretical ideas. The worst I might have to face was a dirty look, snide comment, or attempt by some well-meaning believer to show me the error of my ways.

It was at that moment of realization that I swapped the position of the bright yellow book with the word 'atheist' on the cover with the innocuous cookbook and walked proudly to the checkout. It was also during that walk, the long wait in line, and the final scrutiny by the clerk, that I came to truly appreciate the amount of courage it took for these now celebrated authors to publicly express their doubt in a time when it truly could've meant the end of their lives, and not just a moment of anticipated discomfort.

Quote of the Day:

"Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom."

--Bertrand Russell